Reminder – DO THIS – You’ll Thank Me…
I know it may not seem sexy, but I swear to you that the two tools that I mentioned earlier this month save me time which allows me to make more money AND be less stressed.
If you missed those, you can catch up here:
- Easy Safe File Sharing (that I use every day to stay organized and productive whether on my desktop, my laptop, or my mobile devices)
- Easy Safe Password Program (that saves me time and frustration every day)
Business, Life, and the World:
Because you’re awesome, and getting awesomer, I want to tell you about a concept that really changed my life. It came from this book and it gave me understanding and power in a lot of areas of my life, including being a better wife, a better mom, and a better boss (or leader for my VA’s).
Don’t toss it aside if you’re not in a relationship right now. There are other versions of the book AND it will apply the next time you are in a relationship.
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
So the concept is this. There are Five Love Languages in a relationship. (I find others when I’m working with my Virtual Assistants, but they are similar over all.)
The languages are:
- Time together
- Acts of service
We each personally VALUE some more than others and easily and naturally DEMONSTRATE some more than others.
The problem is though when someone is showing you their love in a language that you don’t understand as your primary or secondary language – or on the same note, they aren’t showing you they love you in the way you most need to be shown.
For instance, my primary love language that I like to receive from my husband is acts of service. I also love words. When he runs errands – especially taking care of things that I dread (like making phone calls or taking the dogs to the vet) he is my hero. And when he tells me I’m beautiful and means it, or says he adores me, he can seriously like sit down and drink beer and watch football for a week and I don’t care. 🙂 All is right with my world.
HOWEVER, if he went out and bought me a $10,000 tennis bracelet or even a $75 bouquet of flowers, I would be upset. Gifts (as a love language) is not even on the radar for me. I know what I like and I’ll go get it if I want it. Yes, I appreciate gifts from friends, but they know that I’m more of a softie and their gifts tend to be very sweet (which goes back to Words and Act of Service). For instance, one of my friends got me a little book “Why you’re so Awesome” and on every page, she filled in why I’m awesome. So that comes back to Words and Acts of Service over just buying a gift because you want to buy a gift. (I hope that sounds right. I do love being thought of and given gifts. It’s just that I LOOOOOVE gifts that bring in a special thing or words.)
This can cause problems for me, though, because Gifts is not high on my list but Acts of Service is. Because of that I’m not a consistent gift giver. Like my cousin got married and I had such a hard time finding the perfect special gift (hours of my time trying to find the right thing) that I ended up not getting her anything. eek! But when her baby girl was born, I searched and found the coolest stuff for her. And, at Christmas, I’m often late giving a gift. For instance, one year I gave Pandora Bracelets to all of my friends, each with a special charm. Before the next Christmas, one of my friends and her daughter got a Scottie puppy. So, I hunted everywhere to get the Scottie puppy charm. It couldn’t be just any charm. It had to be that one and I became a woman on a mission. Well, it was sold out, so I finally was able to give it to them in February after being on backorder. They cried. My mission was accomplished.. even if it was a few months late. 😉
So what can you do and how does this help?
When working with my Virtual Assistants, I try to get a feel for what they value. One of the gals that worked with me for a long time needed the words – regularly. So, I knew that and I regularly told her the truth that I appreciated her and she made a difference by being on my team. I learned that she needed to be reassured on a very consistent basis, so I didn’t take for granted that she KNEW she was doing a great job. I took time to tell her.
I also took some time to learn what my kids’ love languages are. And they are DRASTICALLY different.
My daughter loves gifts and time together. That’s what she needs. Of course she still likes me to do things for her, tell her that I love her, and loves hugs, but she NEEDS the other two. So, instead of getting frustrated when she asks me to go shopping or wants things, I finally get that it’s part of our time together.
My son couldn’t care less about gifts and thinks they are a waste of money (sound like someone?). But he loves time together and hugs and words. So, when he wants to tell me *another* story about Avengers or a comic book that he read, I put down whatever I’m doing and I get that this is his way of needing to be loved. He wants to share things with me, even when he knows I’m not interested in them in the slightest bit. So by listening, I show that I’m interested in HIM.
Just some insight that I found helpful. I would recommend reading the book, too. 🙂 And, here’s the quiz that can help you figure out which are your primary love languages. Take the quiz.
The World. An Extra Tip to Help. Don’t Over Complicate This:
Today I want to share a simple tip that will help improve your life AND help the world. I don’t do this enough and I’m actively trying to now (as inspired by you).
My daughter is in 5 dance classes per week, plus 2-6 chorus rehearsals – all of which are downtown which is a 20 minute drive from my house.
I’m making a bigger effort to do two things to awesomize my LIFE and the World in a small way.
- A few years ago, I joined a gym near where she has dance classes and chorus so that I don’t feel like driving home and back again, wasting gas and burning time. I drop her, run to the gym, work out, and come back and pick her up. (Parents are not allowed to watch classes, so I couldn’t stay anyway and enjoy them.) So rather than sitting around playing Words with Friends or buzzing around town, I get my workout in guilt free.
- I’ve also started offering to drive more kids home that live in my neighborhood. There is no reason why THEIR parents need to burn gas (ie money) and waste time when I’m down there at the gym anyway. Plus, with my travel schedule, you never know when I might just need to ask for a payback.
Making the WORLD a better place, HELPING others, just by planning ahead a bit and getting some phone numbers in my phone. Easy peasy.
If you don’t have kiddos, then one other thing I do is when I’m at the store, I’ll text my friend (if I’m planning to see her later) and just say “Hey, anything you need from (insert store) here? I’m here and I can grab it.” She’s at work and running in circles in her own crazy, so since I’m already THERE – why not? I also try to remember to text my husband from the store if I stop spontaneously and just say “Anything we need from the store?” That saves me from getting home and having to turn back around or have him have to stop. PLUS it saves us money because every time you go into the store, there are impulse buys. 😉
Simple is good. Enjoy!
Hugs and high-fives,